Moved.
to http://chantelt-.blogspot.com
Chantel
wrote at
12:37 PM
Goodbye!
This will be a proper last entry of this blog.
I am saying goodbye to e-spresso.blogspot.com
Not that changing blogs, will really mean life transformation, but I guess it's a symbolic move that this time round, I'm serious about moving on.
There is much I want to move on from. Past bad habits, unpleasant memories, cringe worthy moments which really is just another subset of unpleasant memories... yada yada.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead" Philippians 3:13b
But I'm seriously someone, who really love to share my life and thoughts to many. (ok..depends what lar...) so I won't be away for too long... i guess.
To those who are concern with my life, no worries eh, I'm doing fine =) I think God is really loving to send me wonderful people like xinhui, eileen, eevoon, debbie and all... to show concern. Really appreciated the smses.
On a lighter note....
I'm absolutely elated that my favourite designer share the same sentiments as me this season. =) *whee you whee* Red is in! I absolutely adore DKNY...at this point I can only adore. Haha...
Thank God for the joy he place in my heart as the going get tough. Life had never been tougher, more stressful, but I had never such joy. It's truly amazing.
As much as man is complicated and I often failed to understand. My motto will always be love God love people. Maybe I still don't quite understand, or may not understand fully, but note that I still love ya?
Chantel
wrote at
3:35 AM
Untitled.
Untitled because I don't know where this entry is going. I no longer know what to write in here because I don't know who is reading it. I dare not make assumptions. When I'm unsure, I need learn place trust in God instead of seeking them so fervently.
I understood, we don't have solution to everything.
I see ever so clearly in retrospect. my mistakes, my senseless mistakes. Which i abhor in others.
I need to start many things in new way, fresh starts. I'm tired of being sick and tired. Tired of resolutions. tired of assumptions (or the lack), tired of weariness, tired of insecurities, tired at how the world judges.
I'm still a growing child, his growing child.
I have come to a point, of which, I am too vulnerable to pen publicly.
A break from blogging. Perhaps, publicly at least.
I'm taking another perspective, doing things a little differently. A decision to be rebellious towards the carnal me. Perhaps?
I want to learn true faithfulness. How's it's like to be really behind the scenes, when it's just me and God. That I don't just do things that people can see. But doing them behind the scene. Praying for dear ones.... amour bearing my leaders.... honoring others before self.
Ok.. I seriously got no idea who reads my blog. Thanks for reading. yeah.. =)
Chantel
wrote at
3:38 AM
A night of many REs...
Red is my favourite colour at the moment. So subtly... so subtly... I am hopelessly in love with red. The different shades of red.
Today is truly a night of many REs...
.Recall
Subconciously I wandered into my memory bank, recalling much of the past. I thought of my Dad. I thought of friendships which I walk out off. Many many things. Late nights chatting with a friend once so dear. I believe she is still dear to me, just really distant. Perhaps, lost of common topics. I wonder when will be the next time, she will pop by my house again for an impromptu overnight stay. I thought of another, whom I suppose regard me as one dear? But I had hurt her so much, it's been so many years, my guilt still lingers if I were to see her again.
Apparently I hadn't learnt my lesson of not taking people for granted. It stings to realise my own insensitivity at times, and my insecurites that hurt so many. I cannot turn back time to undo the wrongs, perhaps I should really learn to repent and move on.
.Reminded
My aunt pop by while I was working, and reminded me that my Dad really dotes on me. She was wondering why didn't went with my family to pay respect to my father. She said even Christian, also should just go and pay respect, don't hold jossticks lor. I said it's the heart that matters (anyway, I had test that day). I became stoic to alot of things, after my father's death. Choosing to be vulnerable to just a few... it's a subconcious thing I guess. Human reflex to guard and protect.
"Rilo kiley - I never" playing on my handphone... reminded me of maths C, summation...
.Resolute
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Hebrews 12:11
Shall be my memory verse. Will be something I cling on too.
A more worded life.
Honor others before self. I'm still learning, still growing....
Chantel
wrote at
3:00 AM
Solace...
Is what I really need when I come before him.... so flustered... so helpless... so aware of the wrongs that I have done...
I choose to buy the hillsong London disc instead of the Top I wana get from topshop. I guess I didn't regret. The songs are nice. =)
Condemnation falls away
never bound to call on me
I am clean I am clean...
I take them to your cross and leave them there
Capture by his grace
I'm free at last....
I must learn to receive the freedom he is granting and soar like eagle...
I am wounded too... I wonder if it's self inflicted.
Chantel
wrote at
11:58 AM
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